Fiction [entries|friends|calendar] Guillaume [ website | ad interretem! ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

I can't believe I lost all those userpics! [21 May 2009|08:11pm] Ha ha. Livejournal. I just noticed that you can't go back more than 40 entries on your friends page. Or maybe there's a new way to do it. Or did the Russians just remove that functionality. I think I'm just going to (start to) tumbl now. Bye bye BFBFFs! ?

SENSE MEMORY! [19 Sep 2008|11:38pm] Today at work a small amount of spit from my mouth accumulated on the first knuckle of my left index finger- probably from my excessive mouth breathing due to my cold AND the fact that I keep a clenched fist near my mouth probably due to some insecurity. I smelled the spit. It didn't smell like spit. It smelled like co-mingled spit. I let a touch more spit accumulate by seeping out of my mouth so I could smell it more and reminisce. Specifically, it reminded me of my long-term high school girlfriend, but I also got flashes from girlfriends. Flashes of intense half-hour-long make-out sessions where spit would dry up around our mouths. It wasn't necessarily attractive but it was something. Then I wiped off the drool, blew my nose and ate a nectarine. Whither fled our youthful passion? 3 !!!?

A list of my favorite wireless networks in my neighborhood [20 Jul 2008|05:43pm] Yesterday I napped for too long and my landlord came by to show the apartment to prospective tenants. I had to deposit some cash at an ATM (my bank lied about how late their lobby's open on Saturdays) but didn't have my account number handy. I hastily threw my laptop in my bag and drove towards the bank, wardriving with MacStumbler. Just to find an open network to allow me to sign into my bank account online and get my number. It's astonishing how commonplace the wireless router is now. I drove around slowly waiting to hear the "open network" sound but enjoyed hearing the constant pings and lost focus. In this area I found these networks (this is only about half of all networks): NOCTURNE Cowboy borrwdchef Planet Russell LADIES OF PROWNES Girlz Rule Almalana keskes trout stream Pirate Dojo gatobox BOOBELLY poptart Michelle's HO J Man's El Dorado Network Gnome Net Strangeland buyyourownrouter Dutch Queens baremore four_dudes kommonsense11 Mahasamatman Voldemort abbie and friends sweatynutsacks SayAnything The Nest (wonder where that one is...) thebirdcage Koinonia captian KilRoy skunks XXX Earl the Emu WEKILLEDYOURCAT Parkwood Girls doubled I don't know how illegal this is. 4 !!!?

Sandwiches and Mortality [12 Jun 2008|10:45am] Last summer I fell in love with the concept of the (technological) Singularity and transhumanism I read about in Ray Kurzweil's "The Singularity Is Near". I'm still hoping for it to come true. Extending my lifespan and abilities would be desirable. Maybe immortality is a bit much, but I fused my, at the time, concerns with the environment in the future with my new Singularity beliefs and decided that humans are on their way out so there's no point in me having a child. Biology will merge with technology, consciousnesses will merge, the Earth will be spared and everything will be cool. (I still don't want to have kids, by the way.) My concerns for the environment and further interest in cosmology/physics have given me reasons to reconsider what's possible and natural. I don't believe that things that are "unnatural" are bad. I just think we may be at fork in the road with accepting our fate as (very, very intelligent) animals in the natural order of the world as one path and becoming gods as the other path. I'm becoming less convinced that we'll be able to conquer nature and evolve into Kurzweil's predictions. This bugs me. I'm afraid of death. Not even the dying part, just being dead. I'm not comfortable with mortality yet. I had a dream when I was about 8 where I went into our family's living room and everything felt different and I just knew 'the world ended'. We were in heaven or something. I looked at an alarm clock that read "2000". When I awoke I was convinced for about 5 years that the world would end in 2000 and I just accepted it. I wasn't morbid. I just didn't consider the future as a real possibility. I was more comfortable with my mortality then than I am now. The main reason is that I believed in heaven back then. For making us accept death, in a cheap "there's an afterlife, kiddies!" trick, I can give religion credit. I eventually outgrew my doomsday (I had a flowery version where everything just turned into heaven- no rapture, apocalypse, y2k) vision and just didn't think about death. I'm not obsessed with it now, but I recognize my fear of it as a fear of accomplishment. And that plays into my irksome desire for fame and thinking I have to accomplish something that garners fame or it's as if I never lived anyway. While I was in France away from the internet for a month I noticed a greatly diminished desire for fame and the celebration of my individuality, and an increase in the desire for the celebration of community with no standout stars. Blah. ANYWAY. I went to the International Conference on Peak Oil and Climate Change: Paths to Sustainability" two weeks ago as a gift from my parents. I'll save all that knowledge for my next entry, that ties into this one. Suffice it to say that I became inspired and a little scared after it. And that I don't really think Singularity is possible. I became more comfortable with that while eating a Tuscan sandwich from Martha's Vineyard the other day (something that I also think will soon be impossible). How I eat is similar to how I "live". I rush through it, ignoring the details, never feeling satisfied. I actually took my time while eating that Tuscan and made it a point to be gross and move the food around my mouth so my tongue could taste and appreciate all the flavors. I put the sandwich down several times for a few minutes each time to think about the sandwich and pause. I didn't want to finish the sandwich, but I was ready. I was full and enjoyed it as much as I could expect. After I ate it I fell asleep. PS: I need to get a camera. I want to get it through eBay from someone in the Grand Rapids area. Then I'll be less boring. Someone find me one! 11 !!!?

Bike-king [11 Apr 2008|10:30am] As I found last fall when closing my Chase bank account, it's easy to close an account when you lie and say you're moving someplace where it's obviously impractical to continue using that service. For my Chase account I said I was moving to France and then Thailand to teach English and wouldn't be back in the US for quite some time. I said that I loved Chase (lie), my family used them and I'd start another account when I came back (lie). (But who really loves their bank? I now have a Credit Union and like it, but don't love it. I don't love money, c'mon.) Last summer I bought Rae/her brother Alex's old car from their dad so I could drive to work and then commute to the house I was sitting. The last car I owned I left at my parents' house while I lived on campus my freshman year at GVSU and then let my brother use until he killed it by withholding oil. I then got used to the idea of not having a car and relished it. I biked all those years and continued biking when my bikes kept getting stolen. Now I'll be biking again. I gave my parents my car and they gave me the bike that I gave them two years ago that Tom gave me that Chris and I stole for Tom. It's a red, possibly girl's, Murray Monterey beach cruiser that was abandoned at Family Video. My parents used it in Grand Haven and added a sweet basket. The day after I gave my parents the car I called Progressive and told them I needed to cancel my insurance policy because I was getting rid of my car and moving. The person asked where and I said New York. I was put on hold and transferred to an agent based in Florida but originally from New York. She asked where exactly I was moving to- I said Brooklyn- and talked about all the great food (pizza [no way!], cherry bonnet ice cream ["You call that dipped"] from Mr. Tastee) I could find plus agreed that public transportation would be sufficient and hoped I'd have fun in New York and call up Progressive if I ever get a car again. Easy! Lies! I rode from Founder's to Grand Coney, losing my bike lock and nearly the contents of my stomach, and then showed off for Scott's iPhone 4 !!!?

Unfinished equation [29 Feb 2008|07:06pm] I celebrate Leap Day. After fighting my self-diagnosed S.A.D. the past few months I've started to feel better and am centering my good moods around this 'holiday'. (And also wishing Dennis Farina, Tony Robbins and Ja Rule a Happy 16th, 12th and 8th Birthday respectively. Whoa, those are the same years my dad, mom and brother were born!) When we had some solid sunshine for a few days last week I spent an hour or so lying on the kitchen floor absorbing as much sun as possible. The next morning I got a cup of coffee before work and I felt upbeat and was extremely pleasant to others all day. I felt a constant rush of energy and all week I couldn't stop talking or plotting. I actually had things to write down. I also believed that I developed a sort of super sensory perception. I anticipated the needs of others, what people were going to say and what I should do. Example. I went to Subway for lunch to get a sandwich. While waiting I saw some new green spread. I thought it would be delightful on my Veggie Delight. I asked what the spread was and a worker said it was Avocado spread, but it didn't look like it. Still waiting I saw an sign for their new Chicken Florentine sandwich with spinach/artichoke spread. Then I thought, "Wouldn't it be absolutely insane if they wouldn't allow me to put that on my sandwich? What if I even asked to pay extra for it but they wouldn't do it?" That'd be silly. I ordered my 6" Veggie Delight (I now see that it's spelled Delite. If they're going to simplify it, why not be ridiculous and call it Deee-Lite) on Italian Herbs and Cheese bread with Provolone cheese. I then asked, "And could I get some of that spinach/artichoke spread on there too?" "No, sorry," the sandiwch artist told me. "It's just for the Chicken Florentine." "Can I pay extra for it?" "Sorry. No." "Okay. I'll have lettuce, spinach, tomato-" "And it has to be warmed up," she added. "Pickles, green pepper, cucumber-" "It's the rules from the top." "Banana peppers, black olives, salt and pepper mix." I think the woman believed I was fuming the whole time but I don't think I acted like it. I did end up writing a letter to Subway asking to allow the spread be put on all the sandwiches but I wasn't going to yell at an employee who had no control over the policy. I shared the story with Seth and he asked me if I'd considered that I may be developing super-human powers. I put two and two together and realized that the solar radiation from the previous day triggered something inside me. The sudden melatonin blockage and surge of serotonin allowed me to perceive the world with more accuracy. Further discussion with Rae and Seth and brief research led me to conclude that I have harnessed the power of quantum computing inside my body. I'm able to process every qubit in my immediate surroundings and deduce the immediate future. I don't know how. At the present I believe this to be unerringly true. Upon viewing last night's episode of Lost (with respect to Vonnegut, Picard and others) I'm considering becoming unstuck in time for some real progress in ramping up my abilities and laying the foundations of my time religion. The main point is I'm convinced that I'm out of winter's rut, fingers crossed, and am celebrating it on Leap Day. I'm making the end of February my official New Year as I'm of no use between December and March. I got a haircut and a free 5 minute session at the tanning salon to combat the snow (and my long hair) and maybe even increase my powers. I also have ( Leap Year resolutions... ) Happy Leap Day, everyone. To close I have two recent conversations and a picture of Larry David. Conversation I had over the phone at work the other day with a very nice customer: "Thank you so much for helping me. Oh and what was your name?" "Oh ha. I'm, uh, Kevin." (mumbled) "Thank you, Imakevin." (said like "i'm a kevin" but more natural as if it could be an actual name) Conversation I had near the library today with a homeless-looking person who can, possibly, only perceive time in quarter-hour increments: "Can you tell me what time it is?" "It's 1:26," I tell him as I continue walking and pull my phone out. "Okay, so that's like 1:30?" "Uhh, what? Oh, yeah. It's 1:30." "Great. Thanks." 27 !!!?

Proving my interest in sociolinguistics and perhaps reasons why I would be terrible in this field [18 Feb 2008|01:18am] Last summer Elise and Eric got me a job at the Grand Rapids call center for Farmers Insurance. My job as a CSA, Customer Service Associate, had me answer phone calls to file insurance claims for people. These claims were mostly for car accidents- and mostly people filing against one of our customers- but also included home insurance. My information would get passed to an adjuster who would then work with the customer and make it all better. This job had six weeks of training Monday-Friday 2pm-11pm that started in early June. About halfway through training I accepted the French teaching job at GVSU for the fall semester. I learned that I wouldn't be able to reconcile the two schedules but quickly made myself comfortable with the fact that I'd have lots of money spent training me for six weeks and then I would only actually work for four weeks. I liked most, maybe half really, of the people I trained with and learned with them why the job was decently paid and had a high turnover. Our trainer was a woman from Texas who claimed Japanese was her first language as her family lived in Japan for a time. She also claimed to speak a half dozen other languages, to have studied physics and philosophy at college, her (college prep) high school wanted her to graduate in 10th grade, she scored a 32 on the ACT but struggled in college (a friend in the class blurted out, "Because high school is easy", and the instructor retorted, "No, it's because I partied too much."), her paraplegic husband she got a separation from during my training wasn't allowed to drive her car and that her parents owned a portable toilet rental company. She announced that if she got too tired or angry she'd get her southern accent again. She did hide it well, but she just plain sounded ign't. On the first day we received white legal pads to take notes and I took lots of notes. Soon, however, my respect for the instructor had fallen so much that I spent most of my time documenting her ridiculous expressions. I've been waiting for enough time to pass since working there to share the sayings I copied down in the notebook. I'm not trying to mock the way she speaks though I was annoyed by it. I like to think I was more annoyed by her annoying personality and not for my superficial aversion to a southern accent and its unique turns of phrase. turn around and do something: It was always "you turn around and ..." I think I learned "go and do something" but really you can just say "do something". in which case: The example I quoted was, "Was it December in which case Seattle got all that rain?" She nearly always used "in which case" in place of "that", "who", "when". It really filled me with rage whenever I heard it. This one isn't a 'southern thing' either. It's an "I use word filler" thing. Before I continue I'll first concede that working in a mind-numbing customer service corporate environment, but especially TRAINING in one, a person can start to use buzzwords repeatedly and even start to just use words as filler. I blame some of this on her work background and not just her ign'nce. I'll continue. I really got off on her unnecessary usage of "in which case" but I soon noticed that I didn't think I ever heard her use the word "of". She used "over" in place of "of" and in many other constructions I couldn't figure out. "along the lines over" "gives examples over" "explanation over" "give the information over" "they're different over how to recognize" "training consisted over" "very self-explanatory over why we do this" "breakdown over" "give a list over" "different divisions over deviations" "make a list over" "you know basic information over this" "guessing game over what it's labeled as" "an estimate over how much" "keep track over" "that gives you a bit over what this is" "makes a difference over how we deal with" detrimental: The real definition of this word is "causing harm or injury". She used it in the sense of something being "imperative". "The tip card is so detrimentally important to your job", "How detrimental to the company this is" for example. "as being the person": No notes here, just a stupid thing to say. "Go online, log into the internet.": Sounded stupid. "I don't want sued": Some regions in the US will use this construction instead of, "want to be sued". Cf. "needs washing" vs. "needs washed". "Nine times out of ten typically what ends up happening": Could be shortened to "Usually". "little and far between": "Few" and far between perhaps? "I don't like to combobulate your head" "The roof is being gone": I wish this tense existed. asterik: She said this word a lot and sometimes we'd have to say it aloud for some reason. I always made it a point to say "asterISK". verse: instead of versus "There's a fine line between the difference" ve HIC le CE ment: Like the cement pool the Beverly Hillbillies got. "I'm cheap and I like money a lot." "Been there. Done did that." "At this current time.": She said this all the time! Could be shortened to "now". "hence why"/"hence if": I'm just convinced once a moron discovers this word they use it extensively and incorrectly. "same kind of difference" "just as an fyi": This, coupled with her use of fyi as verb ("I just wanna fyi you on this"), filled me with more rage. "such as, take for example" "Take a good example of that one.": I can't figure out what that even means thought process: Everyone says this too much. Redundant. CATASTROPHE: She never ONCE pronounced this word correctly. She'd try to say cataclysm, catastrophic or words that rhymed with apostrophe, but not the actual word. After a couple tries she'd say, "CAT". Also, they gave us a company calendar with the stupidest inspirational messages. 15 !!!?

A couple thoughts: [31 Jan 2008|03:33pm] I know I'll deserve some flack for not providing more/better evidence to the following. 1. Why does every point Ron Paul has to make come down to "property rights"? Libertarianism is annoying and I'm not seeing much evidence otherwise. It seems like he/his supporters love to counter arguments with, "Well, that's irrelevant. The world is black and white and you can be gay, have an abortion or believe in evolution (though I don't agree with any of those) just don't touch my land, my gun or my money." (love you, Justin) [I will confess that I agree with some of his views and adore the way he professes them in a sense of, "Wake up you idiots! This is the truth and you're just smirking as though it doesn't matter."] 2. I have to careful here. I absolutely loathe politics. Politics aren't governance. I try to avoid the tabloid coverage of the election year until it really matters. I informed myself just enough and voted Kucinich in the non-contest Michigan primaries. I've had Obama fever for a while but choose to keep quiet about it. I don't know all the issues but he comes in first in all those "Which candidate best represents you?" matrices, after Kucinich and Gravel. I mostly agree with him, I like his presence and I like the possibility he represents. I'll concede that I'm not fully informed about all the issues and politics, but again, I don't think a lot of it matters. (It is awful that Romney that tied his dog to the top of his car, but there are better reasons not to like him.) There was the recent kerfuffle about Conservatives/Republicans being afraid of Obama as he is the "Democrats' Reagan". (I didn't like Reagan, surprise, but think it's a compliment) It's a silly article but got a lot of press. Obama detractors have myriad reasons, many correct, to say he can't do the job. But the author, Dreher, echoes the excitement a lot of people are feeling. Throw support from the Kennedys into the mix and we're on our way to some JFK/RFK fever. And then I get scared. What if he gets targeted? (Hell, if Hillary gets the nomination I'll vote for her- and not in the "anyone but a Republican way", I like her. But what if she were targeted?) Targeted for murder, of course. I can't think up any elaborate scenarios or implications other than, "Dude that would suck." The party (not Dem.) would be over. The end. Also, it isn't even Super Tuesday and we only have two Democratic candidates. Ridiculous. 3. Seriously, we need to lower (more importantly, equalize) our standard of living. I'm not talking about favelas for all, but all this talk about recession and standard of living decreasing seems trivial. Blah blah blah, the earth can't support our standard of living, but seriously. 13 !!!?

Billy Ocean had it all wrong [21 Jan 2008|06:06pm] I've had some troublesome dreams these past few weeks. Not like every day or anything, but I had the second ever dream where I witnessed my younger brother's death last week (the first one was about 6 months ago I'd say). I don't remember it fully but it involved a heist we were all a part of, perhaps, and someone was against us and sprayed bullets everywhere, shooting my brother's head off. It was gruesome and I didn't know what to do. Somehow I was able to make the killer think I didn't know she killed him. In an act of cold vengeance I eventually pushed her into oncoming traffic. Not proud... Yesterday I actually was in a car accident. I wasn't driving. No injuries. Rich older white guy pulled out of one of those stupid left turn-arounds on the East Beltline, didn't see us behind him, went too slowly and we hit him. Gary, the driver, from GVSU's The Lanthorn, called the police since we debated and eventually determined it's illegal not to. The cop asked for the details and Gary, still a little shaken, gave a distance of "30 yards" and the cop found him at fault and gave him a ticket. We were so pissed and he's going to fight it. But ANYWAY, that most likely influenced my dream last night in which I got into TWO car accidents. Whenever I drive in a dream I lose control of the vehicle, spin around, can't stop it and most often crash. The dream is too foggy now, but I know I did this in a car where the weather was pleasant and got a ticket. Then I crashed into another car a bit later in the dream and muttered to myself how that made two accidents in one day and how it reminded me of my dreams where I crash all the time. I woke up and was grateful that it was a dream, but fell back asleep and thought of how it was just a dream but it still happened and I'd have to pay for it. I hate cars! 7 !!!?

Still bangin' [14 Jan 2008|09:53am] Kids like to come into the Apple store and use the iSight cameras built into the computers to take pictures of themselves. A group of kids were in yesterday for quite a while and I didn't pay much attention to them, except one younger kid who was running around more and listening to the iPods, asking/singing (not sure which), "You got party like a rockstar?" I saw him take an amusing picture and decided to retrieve it after work. I remembered that his friends took quite a few pictures and thought I'd get those too. A coworker has a funny picture in his locker of a person proudly displaying her new shoes so I thought I'd get mine. I first got my young friend's picture. I wasn't sure, but suspected he may have been throwing up a gang sign. I told someone I was doing this and they mentioned that we have to kick people out of the store if we see them flashing gang sings after the gang-related stabbing at the mall (same link as before). A few other pictures seemed innocent enough. Then a bit baller. Then... This whole Bemis Boys / East Ave Boys thing fascinates me. I was terrified of gangs when I was in junior high... in the northwest suburb Walker where people claimed gang affiliation but didn't seem possible. From more googling/checking on Bebo I found more pictures from the Apple store...from the East Ave Boys. From what I can tell the Bemis Boys are aligned with the Bloods and the East Ave Boys with the Crips. How does this happen? Two rival gangs in a Midwest city hate on each other and one looks into franchising themselves and the other just joins the other? Americans love a two-party, corporate-affiliated system. 19 !!!?

Happy Birthday Mom! [08 Jan 2008|11:53am] It's the beginning of what I'm calling "Honest 08". I'm moving into an apartment by the NEST in a few days. I've got my reasonable resolutions but I'm mostly aiming for staying active/motivated, staying honest to others and true to myself. There will be no quarter-life crisis knocking on my door. It's my mom's birthday today, as well as Elivis's, but we celebrated it on Sunday at my parents' house. My cousin Jeremy came over with his friend/roommate. After a pizza dinner we were getting ready to play Balderdash when Jeremy suggested my parents watch 2girls1cup, the disgusting shock video I was tricked into watching. I wanted to say no, but thought of the opportunity in filming their reaction. I first showed them the video of the grandma reacting so they'd know what to expect... 10 !!!?

Four things of import [29 Dec 2007|10:35pm] I've learned that I won't be drinking lots of cheap beer in one sitting lest my lower digestive system betray me. I came very close to becoming my own grandpa at a recent family Christmas party Wing Heaven's Woodland mall location (I hear the place is expanding like crazy- all over the country!) has fries that I'll be getting tomorrow. When I looked for the price of the fries on their site I fell in love with their theme song of sorts. I fell so hard that on my break I made a ringtone out of the song. I learned of social networking site Bebo while in Prague of 2006. It's popular in the UK and also the US, WOOD TV reported on the site during this year's gang war. It's funny googling bemis + bebo. Now I have to tell kids they can't look at it at the store. MySpace is blocked but Cupertino has laid down the hammer on other social networking sites (facebook...) but we have to tell them to stop. 2 !!!?

70s Frankenstein -> Robert Ghoulet (intentional h) [31 Oct 2007|01:30pm] Seth, are you aware how little you'd have to change your costume? 11 !!!?

Hint: it's a fruit [30 Oct 2007|01:26am] I finally got a call with an offer to do substitute teaching. I was with my parents and noticed a missed call from an 800 number. I dialed it and it asked for a "PIN number". I was confused and googled the number. I saw a few .k12.mi.us addresses and realized it was the subbing company. I didn't have my "PIN number" online as it's on my own computer. I have until Wednesday to send in $25 for a substitute teaching certificate- another charge the company neglected to tell me at the orientation- and thought that maybe I would do just this one job but no more since I'll be working at the mall (and not talking about it) soon. I got the calls for a few hours and then nothing. I went, got my PIN to the site and did a search for jobs but found none. I figured the offer was expired. I found this to be false at 6:15 this morning and just hung up on the call. Forget subbing man. Those jerks jerked me around and that's why I call them jerks. While at Meijer with Rae last night I stumbled upon this An exclusive Swiss formula made with Green Tea extract, provides a cool feeling while our moisturizers and gentle cleansers wipe away dirt build up and the natural oil that secretes from the pores on the head. Head Wipes provide a clean and fresh feeling. Use Head Wipes anytime, anyplace. 16 individual wipes per box. I'm glad that bald men, or guyz, are proud of their baldness and have personal care products just for them. It's a big eff you to the "Just for Men" guys dying their hair to fit in. Bald guyz are proud of what they have (left). Love your bald brothers. 10 !!!?

The More You Know [24 Oct 2007|11:54am] For the longest time I thought 'The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension' starred Paul Reiser. Every time I saw the poster, some friend had it (Mark?) on a wall, I'd look at it casually and think, "It's so weird that 'Mad About You' was in this movie. Well, Jeff Goldblum's in it too." Then I finally watched it and realized it's RoboCop, not Paul Reiser. 7 !!!?

People-talk [21 Oct 2007|11:23am] Last night at Seth's Halloween party while I was dressed terribly as "Demi Moore from Ghost" some of Seth's neighbors were on his porch drinking and talking to us. Girl: You're bent, right? Me: Excuse me? No. Girl: Drunk? You're not drunk? Me: Oh, well. A little, yeah. I thought you were using it in the English, err the UK, sense of the term. Girl: We don't speak English. We speak Ebonics. Me: No, sorry, what I meant was... Girl: We speak Niggalish. 7 !!!?

Blake bought a DVD player in the US in 1999. [13 Oct 2007|12:00pm] I wasn't inspired by this when I noticed this but I'm glad they both appeared in my life within 12 hours of each other. Seriously. This looks like a face. A muppet or something. Looking to the left I think. Anthropomorphism marches on. 2 !!!?

To be loosed [10 Oct 2007|08:28pm] Let me start off by saying that Greg Gillis (Girl Talk) and Dan Deacon both look older than they really are. Rae, Mandie and I visited Tom in Iowa City last weekend. Eric, Kathryn, Joel, Matt and Nick made the “Tom’s Friends Force” total nine so he’d look cool with so many friends to show off to his Iowa City friends. Sadly, we hardly met them. But we did eat lots of vegan food, walk around, sweat, witness Rae get the worst service, find awesome polaroids (scan them, Mandie!) and saw Dan Deacon & Girl Talk close out their tour. While waiting in line for the show some drunk dude in a Grant Hill US Olympics jersey told me that Dan Deacon might not be performing since he’s sick. He pulled out his phone and told me to call Mr. Deacon and beg him to perform. I thought the guy wanted me to use his phone so I grabbed it and hit “Send”. He quickly grabbed it back and said, “No! I already called him. Use your phone.” After I copied the number into my phone I asked him how he got it. “I work at the radio station and interviewed him and Girl Talk earlier.” I could hardly hear Dan Deacon’s voicemail but left a business-sounding message pleading with him to come and entertain us all tonight. Twenty minutes later, still in line, I ask the guy if I can have Greg Gillis’s number. He laughed and said, “No way man. I’ll give you the first 4 digits of Dan Deacon’s, though.” I informed him that he already gave the number to me and he just looked drunk. We eventually got in, got drinks and went into the crowd during Deacon’s set where he asked us to back up against the walls and watch people run around, giving high-fives as they passed. Girl Talk played, we sweat, I slipped about as everyone’s sweat and beer covered the floor (and the walls, and the ceiling) making walking in sandals impossible and covering my bare feet in grime (still not clean!). Most of us hung in the back. Nick was in the front and Tom wanted to talk to him so I volunteered to go get him. When I saw him I kept dancing and eventually crowded to the front and finally climbed on stage. I danced around for about 10 minutes, patted Greg on the back and got off stage, making my way back to the group. Rae and I went up to the front near the end and, naturally, danced more. I also got a picture After the show Mandie tried to get Dan and Greg to come party with us- after they commented on how much they loved our face paint (Tom, scan those polaroids!). I told Dan Deacon about the drunk guy giving out his phone number and he explained that he doesn’t listen to his voicemail, wouldn’t hear my call, etc. Can’t blame him. We stopped at the Welcome Center on I-94 in Michigan and I found this absolutely insane business card. There are too many things to comment on. You start. And apparently this guy has bumper stickers. 4 !!!?

It isn't every day that you injure and almost kill your grandmother [24 Sep 2007|07:29pm] I "helped" George with g-rad's most recent challenge for Ultimate Blogger 3 on Saturday night. Mostly, I let him take a nap and woke him up so he could finish working on the challenge while I sat frustrated with myself in being tired and not knowing how to help or trim down some text. I eventually left so I could sleep. The next morning I picked up my grandmother, maternal, with Rae and we went to my parents' house to go boating. Fatigue (moderate, as I've been sleeping plenty lately) and crabbiness were kicking in and I refused to let my brother drive my parents' car, a manual transmission, because I wanted radio control and not to have to sit in the back. Rae went to ride with my parents, Lance climbed in the back seat of the car and my grandmother started to get in the front passenger seat. As she was opening the door to get in I started the car by putting my foot on the clutch and turning the ignition. This is where it all goes wrong. When I drive my parents' car and park it, I use the emergency brake. When my mother drives their car and parks it, she turns the car off and puts it into gear- pretty much the same as the e-brake. Time line is approximate... The car started. I took my foot off the clutch. The car screeched forward. My grandmother was jostled as she held onto the door. I turned the car off. My grandmother fell backward on her ass. I stare, speechless. My grandmother hits her head on something during the fall. I realize my mother was in the garage, in front of the car, almost getting hit. People in the driveway ask what happened. I have no idea where Lance is as I wasn't paying attention. My grandmother asks for a silver knife. My brother goes to my grandmother to help her. My grandmother is bleeding from her head. I walk away from the car and my grandmother and begin to cry. I walk to my grandmother to weakly attempt to help and get blood on my hand. My mother and father are at my grandmother's side checking her. I walk away from her again and cry some more. My father asks for the keys to be taken out of the ignition. My grandmother is brought inside. She has peroxide, ointments, bandages, etc. applied. It is decided that she won't need a visit to the ER. I am away, crying in bathroom. My grandmother calls me in and tells me to stop crying. We go boating. My favorite part of the boat ride is when my dad sped along Spring Lake and I stood up, letting the waves bounce me without holding on as I like to do. The comfortable breeze flew at my face and forced my eyes shut, blowing more tears away. 9 !!!?

The youth group leader's back [15 Sep 2007|12:17pm] I may have made a huge mistake. It was requested of me to organize another scavenger hunt. I was feeling jovial and immediately picked a date. Either the Friday or Saturday after Halloween. Details to come. As are you. 12 !!!?

Ceci n'est pas une pipe [10 Sep 2007|01:14pm] Despite any advice I may have been given in the past or any that may be solicited after I recount this, I do not think I will, should or even can talk to my high school band instructor. Two afternoons ago, during a nap, I had what makes roughly the 15th nightmare over the past seven years involving me being confronted by the instructor. I think I've recounted this here before but I'll summarize. After I didn't do well on an exam that placed me last chair at the end of the fall semester my senior year I quit band by leaving my uniform and instrument on my chair. I wasn't an important musician but I heard the man was confused and upset by how I quit. We haven't spoken. The dream I had involved him running up to me and calling me over. I dream-thought, "Oh no, he's going to confront me about it all and yell at me." No, he instead yelled at me for lying on my weekly practice chart. It was like lying on a time card for work in some way. So we had a shouting match where I called him out on being mean to students and knocked over trophies. Later a large group of people were watching a recorded performance of the band, excluding me, performing their Pink Floyd routine (that I actually participated in) in England. Some were criticizing it and it was bad but I wanted to be defiant and I cheered the band on. Some strange-looking man near me scoffed and told me, "Take your drama elsewhere, Mr. LJ." I stood up and started to yell at him and push him. Security was called and I was dragged out while flipping everyone off and grabbing my crotch. 11 !!!?

Everything is different [01 Sep 2007|10:31am] · I quit Farmers Insurance a few weeks ago but timed it so that I would have vision insurance. I now wear glasses and as of today no longer have vision insurance. I need glasses for night driving but man am I wearing them all the time. It's amazing how much sharper everything is. I feel like I'd been visually ripped off in the past. I've wanted glasses since I was a kid but never needed them. But now! AND I think I look better as a human with them. This is what I look like wearing them in the morning · Last week I started house-sitting for a GVSU professor. I love it. I have everything I need (including a yoga/trumpet room) with so much space. I hope to sort through my things and cut down my possessions while here so I can just keep moving easily forever. · Language Lab orientations started this week and in the weeks before I worked on different segments for the orientation video. Including this one...(pardon the 24 seconds of black at the end...) · This week was also my first week as a French 101 professor at GVSU. It's intimidating and exciting. I'm very glad it's 101 because it's easier for me to start at the beginning with them. I became so excited in class on Tuesday night that I forgot to go over the syllabus because I got caught in a tangent that started with saying "Bless you" in French and led us to conjugating our first verb (too early). Thursday was more controlled but most wanted to see the first Laker football game. Instead they learned how to tell time and their homework was to teach someone else how to tell time in French. BOOYAH! · I drive a car from the house to a bus stop to take me to GVSU. I own a car now; something I've never technically done. I haven't regularly driven a car since 2002. I let my brother use my old car and he totaled it but I didn't mind. The moral of my story is I hate gas prices, checking oil/tires/coolant, etc. but it is (obviously) nice having transportational freedom. Still, I wish I could just bike/bus it everywhere. · I'm not going to eat cheese in September to try and work my way toward veganism. I've felt like a glutton on it lately; eating cream cheese on so many everything bagels, swallowing Meijer pizzas whole and sucking on chunks of Gouda. It needs to stop and I love making clean breaks on clearly defined days. · Today marks Day 2 of my six-day break. I should hear about substitute teaching for Grand Rapids Public soon, but they don't start school until next week and in the meantime I'll be reading One Hundred Years of Solitude by Marquez, riding "my" bike on these sweet Ada trails and getting some sun. Goodnight August and Happy Birthday Matt Wilson. 17 !!!?

I'm OK, UK OK [21 Aug 2007|11:16pm] My dad informed me that I had mail accumulating at my parents' house and should pick it up soon. When I talked to my mom on the phone about the mail she noted, "Your dad wanted me to tell you that there's something from Great Britain too." I was immediately excited. I don't get mail from England. Who knows my address? Honestly, the top three ways I hoped/imagined the letters would start were: 1. Congratulations! Though you've made none, we've been following your progress in your fields of study [read: desire to study, or more aptly "fields of thought"] and believe that you are an asset to our institution who is needed immediately. Enclosed please find a ticket to Oxford, England. There is a plane waiting to take you there directly from Grand Rapids. 2. Dear Kevin, It is with great pleasure that we welcome you, no matter at what age, to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry. Yes, magic is real! Come learn it. Enclosed please find a portkey to teleport you here immediately. 3. MI6 needs you to defend the English crown now. Enclosed please find a gun and shoot someone to get registered for your license to kill. Sadly, the letter ended up being from a British internet hosting company wanting payment to renew my .co.uk domain. It's 90 pounds and I never cared about it. I don't even remember where it's being redirected so I can't change it. Maybe next time you'll send me better news, England. Though her Lollapalooza performance disappointed me, I love the new M.I.A. album. I predict this song, Jimmy, to be a big club hit. A hit at clubs I'll never attend. 5 !!!?

Accio Spoiler! [24 Jul 2007|01:33pm] I just finished Harry Potter and can return to the internet. I like how often the word "effing" was used. I didn't like how she killed off Hermione. 27 !!!?

Wannabe artist or wannabe scientist [09 Jul 2007|01:34pm] I've been lost since I've come back from Montauban. And when telling my aunt, a recruiter at a local technical trade school, that I don't exactly know what I want my 'end point' in my career to look like, I mean it and don't see anything wrong with it. When the career counselor at my semi-recently-graduated-from university tells me I'm having a quarter-life crisis I don't believe it and I'm mildly insulted to have such a buzzword thrown my way. The truth is I'm now looking into going to GVSU for getting a master's in Computer & Information Science. I don't know if it's the right thing to do, but it fits my interest, time frame and possibly budget. I've known that I've been interested in it for years and have twice taken intro to programming courses, and was twice forced to drop them due to work scheduling conflicts. I could enroll in the program for this fall, so soon!, and adjunct teach the French 101 course at the same time. I'm also looking into substitute teaching in the area for the fall (anyone have any leads on that?) or something else. The other truth is I don't necessarily want to stay here but I have enjoyed studying and working at Grand Valley. I prefer academia to corporate life and my French degree is a solid base, but I can quickly and efficiently improve my chances of going elsewhere (anywhere) to study and work after this. I hope. I feel like I've been a wannabe artist for a long time. I've wanted to be a musician, an actor, a writer, etc. but now I'm turning towards my wannabe scientist dreams I've held for even longer really. Ghostbusters first got me interested in science (albeit paranormal science) when I was younger and since then I've wanted to be a Ghostbuster, an astronaut, a time traveler, a roboticist, a genome sequencer, an anthropologist, a species cataloguer, etc. A lot of more recent desires have involved software programming and web design but I've felt very lacking in both the scientist and artist departments to work on those roles. I hopped on the computer train a bit late and when I first started I was too distracted by AOL keywords that I didn't take the time to learn about them and do what most computer nerds do. And I regret that. And I'm trying to change that. 9 !!!?

Where your food comes from [02 Jul 2007|11:07am] Modern chewing gum has its roots in Central and South America. The Aztec had harnessed the power of rubber and its use was found everywhere- from bouncing balls used in sports to footwear used to play sports with bouncing balls. Even in recreational chewing. Thanks to a chance meeting with an Inca explorer sometime in the early 15th century the Aztecs learned how to cultivate the coca plant. The high priests quickly took a liking to the plant for its medicinal purposes and its ability for them to pray longer and harder to the gods. Eventually the plant was mixed with rubber and yielded a soft, chewy and stimulating food. The sporting community quickly took up the practice of chewing the substance and this resulted in bloodier matches (cf. sacrificial offering of the Mesoamerican ball game's losers) and week-long religious ceremonies filled with orgies and dancing. The coca gum spread throughout the Americas and was said to garner peace between the various civilizations. During European colonization the gum was outlawed and the coca was replaced by the sugar cane introduced in the Americas by Columbus. This change relegated chewing gum to an activity for children starving due to the conquests of the Amerindians. Those that did have the resources for acquiring food spent them on pure coca. 2 !!!?

Two truths and a lie [29 Jun 2007|07:19pm] During the past four weeks of work I have worn only one pair of pants. My landlord in Montauban and I were talking about French expressions used in English just before I left and I asked him about the origins of "carte blanche". During Napoleon's invasion of Russia his officers were spread out and needed orders. He had no time to draft specific instructions for each officer and would instead send blank parchment indicating that they were to use any means necessary to attain a victory. Matt Finnegan and I ate in total darkness at a resturant near the Centre Pompidou staffed by blind servers. 2 !!!?

More lies [28 Jun 2007|10:55am] 5 !!!?

Kevin Lies: Episode Two [27 Jun 2007|11:15pm] If you're ever in the driver's side backseat of a Trailblazer and Christopher Lloyd is standing outside talking to your dad, who's in the driver's seat, and he reaches his hand through the window to shake your hand, watch out! He has a firm handshake and you'd better reciprocate and make him proud. While you're doing this you'll think, "I forgot that my family knows famous people. I'd better squeeze Christopher Lloyd's hand tight to impress him." When you do this he'll smile and compliment you on the shake. 14 !!!?

The one thing I learned this weekend [26 Jun 2007|10:47am] Despite all the irritating nonsense we all went through late last week and the other stuff I'd rather not discuss, I did learn something. In the age of spice routes- when pepper was worth its weight in gold- anything to make a dry, rotting piece of meat taste better improved a family's quality of life. And they would do anything to acquire the spice. They would even force their children to cry by scaring them or hurting their feelings so they could bottle the tears to perk up the meal. 3 !!!?

We're getting closer [19 Jun 2007|12:59pm] I'm just over two weeks into my new job. My paper nametag tent says "Kevin / Kev-o" because the instructor asked us to put our names and any nicknames we had on it. Only one person has ever called me Kev-o (Mary) and since there was another Kevin in the class and I can lie to these strangers I thought I'd use it. (It's better than Kevie [Blake], Kevian [Anna], Tim Tim/Tim Tam, etc.) It's really weird hearing people call me Kev-o. Kind of annoying, really. My dad had a friend named Rico and he once asked him why he went by Rico instead of his real name Dave. The guy said, "Because I tell people to." I was thinking about how we use 0 as a placeholder and it blew my mind. I read up on it and the reason/history kind of makes sense, but still. This 'nothingness' also represents 'times ten, hundred, million, etc.' I really hope Mitt Romney becomes the Republican presidential nominee. So many people say they wouldn't vote for him because he's a Mormon. Many others are campaigning for him saying, "Look, he's not the same type of Christian as you and you may even say his people are heathens, but he's a great guy! You just believe in different fairy tales. Look at his values!" And many are saying, "Yeah, good point. He hates the same stuff as me! And he likes some stuff I do too. Yeah!" I think he's a stepping stone to people being comfortable with atheist candidates. It's like saying, "He doesn't believe in the fairy tales you believe in, but look at his values!" Gooooo Mitt! If we can make it past the loss of bees, peak oil, global warming, nuclear war, asteroids, 2012 and Nicholae Carpathia, I'm convinced everything's going to be alright. I've been reading Ray Kurzweil's The Singularity Is Near and the way science is moving exponentially, we're going to be okay! Insanely okay. Like, having sex with robots while flying magic wings powered by the sun okay! Believe it, Tom. And now: Rae and I stargazing. 14 !!!?

I love Nickelback [09 Jun 2007|10:35pm] 4 !!!?

Onwards and upwards [30 May 2007|12:19pm] LIFE I decided to write off May after coming back from France. (Or, "[my] trip" as people keep calling it) I've been living at my parents' and watching my dreams crushed and reconfigured. I've worked with my dad making sure no fires start while he welds and helping him install a TV at a bar with beer as payment. I've been selling plasma. I've gotten a job that I start next week. It involves working on the phone- not telemarketing. It will reward the part of my brain that enjoys flexing my multitasking skills and thrills. I will not name it. I will not be house sitting. I will be living with Eric in Mandie's room. Ambiguous sentence! I move in Saturday. So, June is the start of my (productive) summer. That is when I will return to vegetarianism, begin my grey-scale clothing transition, re-learn to walk and ensure that I have/work on projects. The start of my summer-summer was this past weekend. We returned to Marnia and I enjoyed channeling Dionysus by drinking and spitting wine, shirtless/barefoot dancing on/sweeping of broken glass, subsequent bleeding and unclad jogging around the yard (possibly with a torch). A highlight of the party was having my dad pull in, walk out of the car and ask, "Alright, who wants their ass beat?" to the crowd containing Ander Monson. The beginning. Rae took care of me. The end. With Katie. Other photos on facebook available to ruin my professional career. My original plan of moving to Chicago in September is on hold. I'm here for the interim and I'll enjoy it. Hell, I'll even be adjunct teaching a class at GVSU for the fall semester. We'll see how things are in about a year. I had to cancel my computer class at GRCC for my job. I'll either be re-taking it in the fall at CC or seeing what I can do at GVSU. By Isis, all I want is to finish _The Timmer_. DREAM I had a dream the other night that I started a restaurant with the most generic name possible: Food McStuff. I worried about legal troubles and thought I could appeal to the Dutch traditions of the area by renaming it Food VanderStuff. If I ever open my dream bakery/roller rink/library/bar I know what I'm calling it. 11 !!!?

Sorry for spitting sangria at y'all. [27 May 2007|10:41am] Tobias Funke is a never nude. I am the opposite. 13 !!!?

back [08 May 2007|07:38pm] I got in last night and was delighted to couch it up with Rae & Co. I dropped her off at work and cruised around wearing her sunglasses then we got lunch at Taco Bell. Now I'm in my computer class, hosted by the voice of that Family Guy guy who does all the voices. I have an appeal for you, all of you. I'm looking for work. For the first time since I was 15 I'm actually looking for work and will be forced to turn in a "résumé" and be "interviewed". I've gone through the motions before, but I have no connections now. Do you? If so, tell me! In return I will take you to dinner upon my first receipt of a paycheck from the employment to which you enlighten me. Act fast and thanks in advance. Oh, and let's hang out. ~And now, a picture of my brother falling off a cliff in Ireland. 23 !!!?

Duty Free [03 May 2007|03:06pm] This happened just now. Matt and I are at the airport in Paris. Our flight is delayed by a few hours but we aren't sweating it. (Let's say you've got a 4-hour delay at an airport) We set up a home base at our gate and wanted to charge up my computer and use the internet. So we tried several outlets but none of them gave a charge. An airport employee approached us and told us that the outlets at the departure gates don't work, but those in the bathroom do. And, if we're clever, we can wait until the current flight leaves and use the outlet behind the counter. Oh, and. French Airport Employee: Do you see that Duty Free behind me? Me: Yes. FAE: In it they sell cigarettes and I was wondering if you could buy some for me. KT: Okay. FAE: Since I'm an airport employee I can't buy them, but I'd like to buy two Marlboro boxes of three cartons. Reds for me, Lights for my wife. KT: Okay. FAE: Do you have your boarding pass on you? KT: Yes. FAE: I'm going to shake your hand and in it you'll find 160 euros. The cigarettes will cost 159 euros. I'll be sitting right here when you come back. -We shake hands, I put money in my pocket- I bought the cigarettes and when he took the bag he placed it within another bag. We said our "thank you"s, "bon voyage"s and he went on his way. With about 12 hours until I come back to the US I think I just passed a real-world French conversation exam. 23 !!!?

Le pineau et lapinou [25 Apr 2007|02:39pm] Filip (Belgian) and Ana (Mexican), two students studying engineering in La Rochelle, just left. About a week ago Filip emailed me, through couchsurfing.com, asking if I could accommodate them for a night on their way back home after couch surfing and touring the south of France. I immediately said yes (though I didn't really think anyone would want to stay here, but there you go) as I've used couchsurfing quite a bit and need to put more karma in my corner. They came in last night at 8:30. I helped them bring in their bags and they gave me a bottle of Pineau. Very generous of them and I quickly felt a pang of guilt. Before Julia and I stayed in Madrid she asked if we were supposed to bring a gift to the host. I said it wasn't necessary, but taking them out for a drink is probably customary. In London I was a total mooch off of my host Kai. He was just a really good host anyway and we went halvesies on all the booze, but London isn't cheap. So here I am, a total moocher who has only leeched off of the generosity of these other couch surfers. So we went into the apartment, they showered and then made spaghetti. We all chatted and ate. I made it my goal to try and swing karma my way by being an annoyingly hospitable host. We went into town and I stopped at the ATM, crossed my fingers and took out far more than there is in my account (so I can buy a train ticket too, and also because it will be replenished in good time). We sat down at the bar, Le Flamand (coincidentally Filip is Flemish [flamand]), and met up with the normal Montalbanais crew. I bought us a girafe of Bel Pils and we had a good time getting our drink on and chatting. I had visions of hosting more people back in the US and getting all of you to join couchsurfing so you can host people and never need to pay for a hotel room again. Do it (it's not just for Europe)! This morning I went to the bakery and bought some pains aux chocolats then brought and awoke Filip and Ana with the chocolate treats. We then walked around Montauban and I got to appreciate it all over again. I hadn't really walked around to the places we went since I first came here and I realized I really will miss this place. I think France in the summer is the best and I'm getting robbed of that. Also, my landlord's pet rabbit (named Fripon [Rascal] but often called 'Lapinou') I see scurrying around the backyard and have gotten to play with a few times is adorable. I now understand Veronica's obsession. 12 !!!?

Music Is My Hot Hot Sex [23 Apr 2007|12:43pm] This was a pretty great weekend. · Saturday night in Toulouse a large group of us was drinking by the river and a guy with a sign that said "Free Hugs" (in English, not French) came over to us. To be an ass, I asked him what "free hugs" was and he went into a spiel. Several people in the group gave him a hug. He went over to the group of three guys near us and offered them as well. Instead they pushed him into the river. I was furious. I flipped off the perpetrators and lamely said, "You're jerks" and, "Why did you do that to him?" They said, "Stand up if you got something to say," and "I piss in your ass". Someone kept tugging at my arm not to get up. Probably for the best. I can't really argue in French and though it would have been cool for me to fight them without saying a word, the timing/odds weren't great. The simple solution is this: I need to get in a fight. Rae agrees. I've been a victim of other people's forthrightness (so to speak) and I just need to stop bottling this up and actually react. And since I obviously have a thing since I've never been in a fight and just want to get in one, leaving me the loser or winner I don't care (well...), I need to get in a fight. I was considering letting it happen in New York where I'm sure someone will do something to piss me off and if I react they'll be ready to throw down. I could say, "Hey, I fought a guy in new york. Yeah, I lost, but-". I have reservations though, since the opposer might want to fight to the death or may be carrying weapons. Instead I'll save it for some Grand Rapids provincial, flaunting my having "seen the world" (as in I lived comfy in France, teaching and eating bread) and fearlessness. · Look at this mantis! · On Sunday I went voting with Alain & co. Let me explain this really quickly. You go into the building, pick up 12 small sheets of paper- one for each candidate- and one envelope. You go into a private booth and put one of those papers (or none, if you want to make a statement) in the envelope. You throw away the other pieces of paper, keep them or whatever. Then you'll probably have about six elderly people continuously cut in front of you. Then you give the envelope to an official and it's put in the magic box and voted. I witnessed French democracy in action. · French election results: Sarkozy 30.7% Right..ist Royal 25.17% Socialist (these two will go head to head in the next round of elections on May 6th) Bayrou 18.4% Centrist Le Pen 11.05% Fascist · We came back to Alain's and had delicious cepe mushrooms and confit de canard. My first time eating duck. Delicious. · Then we went jet-skiing. I'm looking forward to visiting Grand Haven a lot this summer. · Unrelated, but I think water is the best thing ever. · I've decided that I'll just come out with it. I really don't care about song lyrics. I can't remember lyrics (or film quotes) and so I don't learn, recite or analyze them. Sometimes I can't even tell what the lyrics are. Since I don't care about lyrics I shouldn't care about the language of the song. Reflecting on this, it's not true for me. And the pathetic reason why, I've just come to terms with, is that i want to be able to sing along and at least temporarily know the words. I'm an idiot, really. · Another confession: I hate that thing people do where they partially cover up their mouths like, "Oh là là! I didn't do it. I'm shocked," or whatever. You mostly see it in girls' pictures on facebook/myspace. Enough! Guy on left and people doing this, stop it! Just stop. If you're thinking of doing it, cover up more of the mouth like lady on the right. Thank you. 31 !!!?

Magic Eyes [19 Apr 2007|07:51pm] · PBF will always be the best. · Something I forgot to mention about Morocco. I saw a dude wearing a Dolce & Gabanna shirt with a NASCAR hat. I bet the hat, at least, was genuine. · Hearing French people talk to animals I keep thinking, "They don't understand what you're saying!" Now I may never talk to an animal again. In any language except love. 14 !!!?

Begging for my wallet at rockpoint and then looking for it on the floor of a bus [16 Apr 2007|01:57am] I wouldn't call my trip to Morocco the worst vacation I've taken, but I would describe it as the worst experience on a vacation I could possibly have. That's not to say it was all bad. For now, though, I will focus on the bad. You see, this vacation is defined by my being robbed twice. I was going to make a little video describing the misadventures but I no longer have a camera. And I'm too lazy to figure out Flash. ( Instead... ) Back to the good: · The BEST orange juice I've had in my life. For around 30 cents a glass I had the orange semen of the gods in my mouth at least twice a day every day. · The couchsurfers we stayed with were really nice. Madrid was cool. We drank 3 litres of sangria on our last night for only 15 euros. You know how I love sangria! · The awful sunburn I got has given me some awesome freckles! Seriously, I have these new, very noticeable freckles around my nose and I love them. Plus, I forgot that I look kind of good with some color. I always say it's the Indian in me. I may not be able to get those scholarships, but I can get some Native American pigmentation! · I was able to speak French more consistently, comfortably and confidently for two weeks than I've been able to in France this whole time. · Losing all my money means I didn't have to fret about souvenirs! · Having three bikes, two cameras and one wallet (twice) stolen makes me think my secret wish to lose everything and remove all my attachment to objects should come true. Does that mean garage sale when I get back? · Aside from the thieves and pushy salesmen, everyone else in the country was incredibly friendly and helpful. Though Julia would pull my arm to get me to stop talking to someone who would just randomly say "Hello/Bonjour" (since a few sentences later some would then ask for money), I got to talk to and get helped by some nice Moroccans. · Awesome couscous! (The famous Marakechi tanjia isn't anything to write home about though. Hint: it's just roast beef cooked for four hours.) When I come back to the US in just over two weeks, wow!, I will be at the edge of my planned life. From August of 2001 I've known what I'd do until May of 2005 and in the meantime that got extended to May of 2007. For the first time in my life I don't have any concrete plans. This is terrifying and liberating. I thought of this while on the train between Marrakech and Casablanca and started writing things I wanted to do, subjects I wanted to study (I thought about school again) and places I wanted to visit or live. I felt excited and inspired about the future again for the first time in a long, long time. I've been happy with what I've done. But I've felt like I signed up for, say, Basketball Camp years in advance and when it was time for camp I had to go because I already paid the dues and it was expensive. Now I get to choose what camp I want to go to based on my immediate, though well-considered, whims. And that starts this summer. Feel the excitement! ( Pictures that Julia took! ) 35 !!!?

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ] [ go | earlier ]